I started writing this post a few weeks ago, but one spreadsheet led to another and before I knew it I had forgotten about this and failed to post anything. But now I’m going to wrap up my thoughts on a few recent matters and hopefully put it all into perspective.

I’ve spent the last few days reflecting on everything that happened during my brief fling with the recruitment process, thinking about what it really means and the implications on what I want to do. I’m very much a goal based person. I set a goal and then I go about achieving it. Sometimes it’s possible to become blinded by the goal and the whole purpose of your quest is lost. That’s what I’ve been thinking recently.

I decided I wanted to do consulting because it appeared genuinely interesting. A lot of the aspects of the job seemed like they would be enjoyable and give me a really good grounding across many core business areas. One thing definitely wasn’t true, that consulting was the ONLY option for me. Far from it. It seemed to be one of many interesting opportunities. My mind is constantly piqued by stories from a wide variety of fields. I don’t really consider myself geared towards or focused on a particular job, which makes it so odd that I was really quite gutted about not getting into McK or Bain. In fact, I’m beginning to think that the people I work with are more important than the work I’m going to actually do (although I’m not totally convinced whether this is a case of equal or more).

The more I learn, the more I realise that there are a plethora of interesting opportunities out there. I’m basically intrigued and drawn towards anything that I don’t understand, from finance to carpentry to nutrition. I don’t know why, I just relish the prospect of broadening my horizons. I guess in an ideal world I would know everything about everything, but since time is finite I’ll just have to be satisfied with knowing something about everything, and everything about something.

So all of this begs the question as to why my vision became so narrow? Perhaps it’s because they are the top 2 companies and getting in to them would have given me some sort of smug feeling like “I made it”. It’s totally ridiculous though, and I am surprised I fell into that trap. Luckily for me, many people around me are smarter than me and know me well enough to give solid advice. When I was in the midst of interviews my friends were saying things along the lines of “aren’t you too creative for this?” and “are you sure this is really you?”.  I answered in a way that was possibly too headstrong, probably trying to convince myself just as much as I wanted to convince them. The truth is that it COULD have been for me. I think I would have found it interesting and enjoyable work. But now that I look back I’m beginning to see it as a near miss, a close shave.

Now I’m on the hunt for something more creative, more innovative, more akin to who I am. Instead of trying to fit a mould I’m going to do what I’ve always done and let life take its natural course, knowing that I’m going to end up doing something rad. It’s so easy to get caught up in the rat race, to think you need to be in with some company in order to have value, but the truth is a million miles away. I’m passionate, honest, and inquisitive. I like to face problems, I like to overcome goals, and I’m going to find something to do which encapsulates all of these things. I’m not looking for a job. I’m looking for a way to channel my passion.

Addendum; I just wanted to clear something up. In my previous post I wrote “I have been measured up and I fell short”. What I intended to write, to convey the full meaning behind my thinking, was “I have been measured up and I fell short by someone else’s standards“. I didn’t mean that I suddenly felt like my worth was any less. Not by any means. I’m sure most of you know me well enough to know that I’m confident (not arrogant!) enough to know I’m a total ripper!